No plans to make plans
Modern day psychology tells us — just start, focus on a goal and do something to make progress. We are constantly evolving as individuals and society as a whole. And so we may spend a lot of energy in productivity shame. We feel guilty when relaxing. Whatever we’re doing has to be intentional, something that will propel us to a better future.
We feel good when we tick boxes, have a framework, a path to follow. It gives us a sense of control. We feel even better if we think through all the possible scenarios that can go wrong and make a plan. And that helps, it gives us something to focus on, a feeling of productivity. Humans we love control. Some define depression as the feeling of helplessness and lack of hope. A coping strategy is often regaining a sense of power.
I am curious what if we learn to embrace the messy middle instead? What if we accept that things won’t go as planned. What if we stop wasting energy trying to force a particular outcome?
Having a plan is helpful and sometimes necessary. What it actually does for us — it soothes our anxiety triggered by the unknown.
It makes us really uncomfortable not knowing what the future holds. So following a plan is a way to deal with this emotion.
But it is also limiting, rigid, and a predisposition for frustration. Having a plan sets some expectations that our reality has to meet.
What if we can embrace the unknowns and be open to whatever the world might demand from us at any point instead? What if we become like water? Fluid, agile. What if we can ride any wave that comes? Be in unison with our inner world and the outer world. Listen to ourselves, trust our intuitions and open up to the lessons everyday life has to teach us.
What would this state of being look like? Maybe it rains on our wedding day and we go splash in a puddle?
Maybe we can pick up and drop things in no particular order, experiment, day dream? Maybe we can dig deeper into ourselves, become our own best friend? What if instead of moulding our inner self to some external expectation, we find new ways to express ourselves in the world? What if we inspire each other by being the most authentic person we can be?
I do believe everyone needs a northern star. Something big to strive for. Start there. If plans help you, do that, but always be ready to change them!
