Let the inner games begin
I ran my first marathon this weekend!
A 44km race along the Great Ocean Road in Australia. With 708m total ascent and 30km/h headwinds the whole way it’s not a recommended route for inexperienced marathon runners.
None of this matters. I was expecting it to be hard, and it was. I was curious if I could run this distance, and I could, but that’s not the point.
The opponent within one’s own head is more formidable than the one on the other side of the net.
Running is a race against myself. I am the coach, I am the athlete, I am the one in pain, and I am the one pushing my body into pain. I am the one to say when to start running when to stop, how fast to go and how far. There is always a personal record waiting to be broken. And there is always the “runner’s high" at the end of each training.
Why do I run? First of all, I love sports. Sport is play. It is joy. It is natural — the human body and mind in unison. And it just clicks.
I started running because I felt inspired, I keep doing it for mental fitness. A better version of me is waiting to be unlocked with each step I run — isn’t this exciting? A new me that is one step stronger, more envigorated & closer to the current goal. To keep it simple — it keeps me sane.
Whenever I come across someone who has done something I am interested in, I want to know two things about them — what motivates them, and how they think. I don’t care what program they followed, for how long, or which books they read.
This is why I’m writing this post, hoping to inspire someone to push their boundaries and feel good.
I am gonna share some facts about my training, but not as recommendations, more as evidence to explain my mental process.
When I started running 5 years ago, I couldn’t run 1km without stopping. Headspace — the meditation app I was using at the time, offered guided running for beginners and I decided to try that. To this day I remember the tips from this program, how to maintain a good posture, etc.
I was inspired by a race I saw in the city and the atmosphere was so good, I just wanted to be part of it. The race is 14km, and I decided one day I am gonna run it. That was my crazy big goal at the time and I couldn’t even run 1km without stopping.
I built a habit of running, I ran on particular days of the week and this gave me a sense of structure in my life. It is also a great way to start a day — having done something hard in the morning gives momentum and a sense of accomplishment.
When the runs felt challenging I would mark a goal in sight — maybe 400m away. I would tell myself that I could stop once I get there. And when I got there most times I didn’t want to stop, I set a next goal instead. Eventually, I ran my first 10km. And that was enough to get me to the start line of the 14km race I was excited about.
As many runners know, no need to run the route or the distance prior to a race. Trust that your body can handle the extra load when fueled with adrenalin.
It works every single time for me. I ran the 14km, then 23km, then 44km — every time I was at the starting line without knowing if I could run the distance I was racing for.
On days when I feel good during training, I would sprint the last 400m and I would get an extra kick of endorphins. I would always listen to myself, it’s okay to skip a day, it’s okay to stop during training and take a rest.
Most times I listen to music, and sometimes I listen to audiobooks or podcasts. Whatever makes my run fun. I make the rules.
And somehow I made them so that I never wanted to stop!
I have been running consistently for the last 5 years. I have 458 runs, 2306 km, 2 half-marathons and a 44km marathon under my belt. I run in the rain, in the wind, when it’s hot, when it’s cold, when I travel. Running makes me feel at home, and I love that I can feel at home no matter where I am.
Sometimes I don’t feel like it, and I still go. I trained myself to keep my own promises. I tell myself I can’t be as reliable as the weather, feelings come and go, it’s the actions that matter. And I always feel good at the end.
Sometimes I struggle during the run, I use two tips from Huberman. First, I narrow my visual focus on a target, I put all my attention into that spotlight. It helps me regroup. Second, I do the physiological sigh — a quick double inhale followed by a long exhale. I remember Huberman talking about this and it immediately made so much sense! We naturally do this when we are crying. It’s how the body manages stress. So I use this technique when I am under physical or mental stress.
The Great Ocean Road Run has been a goal for the past three years for me. The first year I trained for the half-marathon, I tried to buy a ticket, but it was too late — it was sold out.
The second year I got injured training. The MRI showed a bruised tibia and the physio recommended no running for 6 weeks 8 weeks before the race. My foot was swollen and I couldn’t step on it, but I could still cycle and do exercise at the gym. I thought — I want to know that I’ve done everything I can to prepare regardless if I can make it to the start or not. My reasoning was that I could keep my muscles in shape and still give my bone a chance to heal.
I asked myself — if I look back which choice would make me feel proud of myself? The sensible one — I got injured and stopped training to avoid worsening my condition, or the inspiring one — I got injured and I found a way to work around it and continue my training. The answer for me was the latter of course!
And it worked! The week before the race I could step again, I went for a 9km run and felt good. In the end, I managed to do the 23km race and set a new personal record — the most satisfying run I ever did!
In the third year, I was determined to do the 44km marathon distance. I trained for 12 weeks before the race following a Strava program. The longest run a did during training was 30km. That was also my personal record for distance at this point.
Here I was again at the start line of a 44km race, not knowing if I was capable of running this distance, feeling nervous. I was determined to finish tho, there was no other option. I knew it was going to be hard, I just didn’t know how hard and what hard looks like…
Well, it looked like lots of hills and turns, and strong headwinds that would stop even the runners with visibly powerful legs.
The turns helped me tho! Apex after apex, and hill after hill I was putting kilometres behind me. I had the small goals I needed.
Every hour I would hydrate and reward myself with an energy gel. My only goal was to run far enough until the next replenishment.
Once I reached 30km, it became really challenging. I was in pain, I could see runners stopping, I could see injured people getting picked up by an ambulance.
At this point, my inner dialogue looked something like this — “every km I run after 30 is a new personal record, I am not injured, it’s only my muscles that are sore, I didn’t come this far to only come this far, I can replenish at 35km”.
This inner voice kept me going. At the 42km mark, I celebrated my first marathon and I kept going. I had 2km to bring it home. And I did!
In all my years of running, I have consistently been keeping the promises I make to myself. I have built trust in myself.
How we build our character is basically how we talk to ourselves and what we do when no one is watching.
I am proud of the character I’ve built and the mental fitness I have managed to maintain despite all the storms of life.
Hope there’s something in here for someone to take away ✌️
